Sultan Rahi lives
By Khalid Hasan
One can’t say about others, but the Referendum has been great news for lovers of the Punjabi cinema. The gap created by the sad and sudden departure of Sultan Rahi a few years ago, a gap that nobody thought could ever be filled, has been more than filled. The stirring performance by Lt. Gen. Khalid Maqbul, Governor of the loyal and gallant province of Punjab, at Gen. Pervez Musharraf’s dramatic one-day opener at Minar-e-Pakistan brought back memories of that great hero who vanquished every villain who ever crossed his path or cast a lascivious eye on the female lead, otherwise known as “pind di izzat” or the honour of the village.
The Governor was ably assisted by the Great Auctioneer Tariq Aziz (not to be confused with the President’s secretary) who had earlier gone into history books as the man who smashed his way into the Supreme Court of Pakistan and made their exalted lordships flee for their lives. I was shocked when at the instance of this government, Tariq Aziz was tried and punished. Is that how an act of valour should be rewarded? Should the man who led the Goons of Gwalmandi in glorious battle against Pakistan’s higher judiciary not have been given a campaign award? One very much hopes Tariq’s great feat will receive the state recognition it deserves. Can there be a reason for not declaring him the colonel general of the supply corps, for instance?
There can be no two opinions that it was Tariq Aziz who put the ongoing Pervez Musharraf Show on the road. One deplores the attempt by some journalists to embarrass Tariq by making snide remarks the other day at the President’s press conference, attended by invitation of the Ministry of Information by every newspaper whose name we have never heard. It must have been heart-warming for the President to be congratulated more than questioned. That is the way not only journalists but all citizens should in future behave. There is no place for cynicism in this country. In fact, someone should urge Gen. Moinuddin Haider to issue an ordinance declaring cynicism an offence just short of treason, punishable by, among other things, a weeklong stint in the cabinet with that Eternal Bride of Deviant Rule, Dr Attiya Inayatullah, who was also wrecker-in-chief of the family planning programme during the Zia-ul-Haq years.
Meanwhile, the fancy dress show featuring the President continues to draw crowds in city after city. It is entirely untrue that anyone has to be carried to these meetings. Newspapers ought to express regrets for printing wholly fictitious stories about police confiscating anything that moves on the road. Those who go to the President’s meetings do so entirely of their own accord and out of their profound love for their leader. Were these crowds rented, as some brutal allegations have it, would they be cheering the way they do? After all, it is well known that you can take a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. And those who go to the President’s meetings are not horses but men, or so they appear to be on Pakistan television which, we all know, is entirely objective when it comes to coverage of officially sponsored events.
What we are witnessing these days is revolutionary in many respects. It is little realised that the General may have ushered in a new era of headdress fashion in Pakistan. The splendid turbans, not seen since the last of the Ottoman kings was in the throne, that the President has been seen wearing have been nothing short of a profound fashion statement. The couturiers of Paris, Milan, Tokyo, London and New York have surely taken note of this phenomenon and there is no question that their fall and winter collections for both men’s and women’ fashions will reflect what we have been watching night after night and day after day on our screens. What appears to have caught the people’s fancy is the head adornment chosen by the President while wearing his crack commando uniform. I am disappointed that his recent appearances at public meetings have featured civvies. Obviously, he has been misadvised. There is nothing more fetching than the uniform-turban combination. Could there be a better marriage between tradition and martial gallantry?
I have also noticed that the President of late has been trying to express himself entirely in Urdu. Those who advised him to do so are no friends of his and, if they are officials, they should be fired, or if not fired, sent out as ambassadors, unless they are allotted a brief stay at the great fort of Attock where they would at least be able to play Chinese checkers with Asif Ali Zardari in the afternoons. I am assuming A to Z is at Attock. Who knows where he has been sent after the venerable Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan described him as a hostage.
The President should also revert to the mixed language drink he offered us in his marathon television address. It was a tremendous experience. When you thought he was speaking English, he would throw in a string of Urdu phrases, and when you thought he was speaking Urdu, he would slip into English. Does anyone realise how much good that speech did to the young students trying to improve their English vocabulary! For instance, none of them knew until the President spoke from those dozens of paper slips, what the word ‘tertiary’ meant. Now they all do. The language in which the President spoke that day is the language of the future, neither English nor Urdu. That is the direction in which things are moving and that is where he is trying to take us. Those who say they are glad Maulvi Abdul Haq was not alive to hear that speech are old fuddy duddies who are utterly irrelevant.
As for the Referendum, it is a foregone conclusion, so massively popular the President is. I was for several heart-warming days in Islamabad and was thrilled to find every standing pole and tree hung with soul-stirring messages from Dr Muhammad Amjad and Syed Kabir Ali Wasti asking the nation to vote for President Musharraf in the Referendum. Dr Amjad, of whom I had not heard before, I confess, is the president of the Pakistan Poultry Association. Is it realised that he can make every rooster all over Pakistan crow from the time the polls open on April 30 to the time they close. If that happens, no matter how much Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan screams, no one will be able to hear him.
As for Syed Kabir Ali Wasti, he is my choice as Prime Minister because when he invites you to dinner, he passes out choice Havana cigars at the end of the evening. As for himself, he neither smokes nor drinks, which should make him acceptable to the bearded ones.
Friday Times: June 21, 2002