The beautiful marriage songs of Punjab celebrate the non-religious customs and rituals of the culture. The solemn vows of marriage are religious in nature, are prescribed by religion and form part of the religious service. But, marriages are celebrated, enlivened and made more meaningful, by the numerous non religious ceremonies that surround the actual event. These ceremonies are colored with, and informed by, the marriage songs.

There are ceremonies and rituals in every culture. Some of the rituals have ancient roots, others are practical and some have been adopted from other cultures. They have a social and cultural importance which is quite separate from the religious. Among the Punjabis, be they of Hindu, Muslim or Sikh persuasion, the celebration of life’s major joyful events include music, dance, food and gift or alms giving. The greatest number of these rituals or celebrations are those connected with the event of marriage. The marriage songs are sung at the ceremonies held before, during and just after the marriage. The bride and the groom, separately and together, participate in these ceremonies. The families, close and extended, all have roles to play, duties to perform and create and share in the general merriment of this happy event.

The marriage songs, along with the folk songs of Punjab also create and maintain a powerful reservoir of cultural identity – the memory, the expectation and the reality of it. To sustain our sense of self, or to reinforce it, we dip into this memory, we dream with these expectations and we grapple with these realities. These marriage songs are a reminder to us that we should understand and savor these very significant moments of ones life.

The Suhag and Vidai Songs

The suhag and vidai songs are intertwined with each other. Love and the loss of love, a meeting and a separation, anticipation and farewell were all an integral part of a girl’s marriage, at least in the traditional context. Most of the vidai songs are sung at the suhag gatherings.

Suhag is that stage in a woman’s life when her husband is alive; a state of marriedness, if you will. This is considered to be a blest and auspicious state, a time of abundance and fruitfulness, emotionally dense with the love and companionship of a mate.

The suhag and vidai songs are a reflection on the passage of time. The end of childhood, the mourning for the past, the nature of our bonds with our parents and siblings, the desire to love and be loved, anticipation and excitement about the changes ahead – all these feelings are expressed. Thoughts and feelings that cannot be put into words easily in ordinary life, are expressed in poetry and song. In each of these songs lies a recognition that one stage of life is coming to an end and another is about to begin, Furthermore these momentous changes must be described, dealt with and finally, celebrated. As the women sing, their own experiences are revived, their feelings stirred. The entire group has a shared memory and as they sing, it is as though they are pouring this shared knowledge and understanding into the young bride.

The suhag songs are sung at the home of the bride during the days prior to the marriage when the house is filled with family and friends. A number of the songs start with a daughter asking her father for a husband or reminding him of his duty to her of finding the ideal match. She describes the kind of husband she would like. She reminds her father of her childhood occupations. She is shy, mischievous, vain, a loving sister, a tearful daughter, an eager bride.

Bibi Chandan De Ohle Ohle

The first suhaag song of the evening is often this most traditional one.

A daughter is teased gently by her father and older brother. Are you hiding behind the sandalwood tree, they ask? No, she replies indignantly, I just wanted to be near you. She reminds them of her desire, and thus their duty, to find a husband for her – and a number of the suhaag songs begin with this ‘asking for a husband’.

Krishna represents the ideal man, epitomizing beauty, courage, morality and love.

Daughter, why do you hide by the sandalwood tree?

I was just standing by my father!

Father, I need a husband.

My daughter, what kind of a husband do you want?

A moon among stars,

A Krishna among moons,

A husband like Krishna.

Sister, why do you hide by the sandalwood tree?

I was just standing near my brother!

Brother, I need a husband.

Sister, what kind of a husband do you want?

A moon among stars

A Krishna among moons,

A husband like Krishna.

Saahdda Chiddiyaan Da Chamba Ve

A daughter’s sadness at leaving behind her childhood, her parents and her home are expressed in this song. She feels that the familiar garden and the old lanes cannot let her go. But her father reminds her gently of the future and the grandchildren he will love.

We will fly away, father, like a flock of birds,

On a long flight to an unknown place.

Who will play with the dolls in your palaces now?

My grand daughters will

Go to your home, my child.

Who will spin the wheel in your palaces now?

My grand daughters will,

Go to your home, my child.

Who will complete it now, the embroidery left unfinished?

My grand daughters will,

Go to your home, my child.

Father, my palanquin will not get through your gardens.

I will remove a branch,

Go to your home, my child.

Father, my palanquin will not squeeze through these narrow lanes.

I will remove a brick,

Go to your home, my child.

Ae Mere Baabul Ve Mera Kaaj Racha

In all cultures, a bride is dressed in and receives beautiful clothes and jewels, as well as certain special items, at the time of her marriage. This song expresses a young girl’s desire for these fine things that represent her entry into this new and exciting stage of her life. The affection between father and daughter is sweetly brought out.

Father mine, celebrate my marriage!

Daughter mine, what does your heart desire?

Father mine, I desire jewels and clothes.

Daughter mine, this is your mothers duty.

My mother had ornaments made,

And also a thumb ring.

Found a husband for me

Who speaks Persian.

Father mine, celebrate my marriage.

Daughter mine, what does your heart desire?

Father mine, I desire a nose ring and ivory bangles.

Daughter mine, this is your maternal uncle’s duty.

Maama brought the ivory bangles,

Deep red in color.

Maami brought the suit, decorated

And sparkling with gold ribbon.

Father mine, celebrate my marriage.

Daughter mine, what does your heart desire?

Father mine, decorate my palanquin.

Daughter mine, this is your brothers duty.

My brother decorated my palanquin.

The shehnai began to play.

His sister looks perfect inside the doli,

With your son in law.

Father mine, now you can go bathe in the Ganga!

speaks Persian: ie. he is an educated man. Persian was the language of instruction in Punjab and was used for work and business while Punjabi remained the language spoken by the majority of the people.

bathe in the Ganga: A bath or dip in the Ganga river was often done upon the completion of a major task, a duty done.

Uchhi lammi maaddi

The roofs of homes in Punjab were flat and served as outdoor living spaces during winter days and summer nights. People slept on the rooftop during summer nights when the beds were laid beneath the open sky.

High up on the rooftop, where the beds are laid

My father sleeps.

Father, how can you sleep?

When you have an unmarried daughter at home?

Your beautiful daughter asks for a husband,

A husband and a beautiful home.

Father climbed upon an elephant,

Searched through every city and town.

Of them all he liked _______.

It settled in his mind and pleased his heart.

High up on the rooftop, where the beds are laid.

My brother sleeps.

Brother, how can you sleep?

When you have an unmarried sister at home?

Your beautiful sister asks for a husband.

A husband and a beautiful home.

My brother climbed upon an elephant

And searched among all men

Of all those, he chose ______.

Who settled in his mind, and pleased his heart.

Baabul Nu Maen Aakheya

This is both a suhaag as well as a vidaai song. It begins with the familiar ‘asking for a marriage’, goes on to describe the daughters feeling of alienation or separateness from her parental home and segues into the sorrow of the real separation that occurs with her marriage. The song ends with a sharp rendering of the degrees of attachment that exist within a family.

I said to my father,

Celebrate my marriage after the rains,

When the grain is not stored in the house,

And the yogurt does not bubble.

I have been a dutiful daughter, give me in marriage.

These lanes seem narrow now,

And your courtyard feels foreign.

I am leaving my friends,

I am leaving my brothers and sisters.

I have been a dutiful daughter

My dolls lie in their niches,

I do not want to play with them.

Keep them, father, in your home.

I am going to another country.

I have been a dutiful daughter.

Mother’s tears have drenched her blouse,

Father weeps a river.

My brother weeps, the world weeps,

My bhabhi’s wish is fulfilled.

I have been a dutiful daughter.

Mother says, come home every day.

Every few days, says my father.

At festivals, says my brother,

And my bhabi’s show me the road.

I have been a dutiful daughter.

1. Assu: from the word Ashaad. The season after the rains when it is no longer so hot.

2. After the grain was harvested it had to be stored inside the home before it was taken to the town to be sold.

3. Yogurt is traditionally allowed to ferment overnight and by the next morning it is set into the right consistency. During the summer months it is so hot in Punjab that the yogurt ferments very quickly and starts to bubble within a few hours.

4. Traditional homes were built around an open air courtyard. This functioned as a work area as well as an family relaxing/entertainment space.

5. Homes did not have closets. Instead niches were built into the walls and some items were stored , kept or displayed in them.

Gaddo Chaare Thambiyaan

Now that the young man has been chosen, the bride to be would like that the arrangements leading to the happy moment be set quickly into motion, because she is ready! Put up the tent, she says. Send out the invitations. She states her desire for a grand janj (the arrival party of the groom), consisting of elephants and horses.

Raise four columns and stretch out the canopy.

Within these four columns, celebrate each auspicious event.

Bring the brass salver, put a heap of silver on it.

On a new sheet of paper and with a golden pen

Write out the invitation.

Send one sheet to my maternal homestead.

Maama, bring the red ivory bangles,

Maami, the red clothes.

Send one sheet to the home of my in-laws.

Bring a grand marriage procession,

Horses and elephants.

Send the sheet along with molasses candy,

Bring a beautiful marriage procession,

With two brothers.

The two brothers referred to are the sarbaalaas who accompany the groom when he arrives at the home of the bride.

Ni Tu Aangan Aa Pyaari Raadhika

This bride feels shy, going through the various ceremonies of marriage in the presence of all the elders. This shyness falls away very quickly though, when it comes time to leave with her new husband.

Come into the courtyard, sweet Radhika,

Your Krishna is at the door.

How can I come, my Krishna?

I feel shy before my maternal uncles.

If you are shy before your maternal uncles,

You will miss the marriage ceremony.

Come into the courtyard, sweet Radhika,

Your Krishna is at the door.

How can I come, my beautiful one?

I feel shy before my father.

If you are shy before your father

You will miss the marriage ceremony.

Come into the courtyard sweet Radhika.

Your Krishna is at the door.

How can I come, my beautiful one?

I feel shy before my brother.

If you are shy before your brother

You will miss the marriage ceremony.

Come into the courtyard sweet Radhika,

Your Krishna is at the door.

How can I come, my beautiful one?

I feel shy before everyone.

If you are shy before everyone

You will miss the departure of the doli.

Here I come, my beautiful one!

Here I come, my Krishna!

Deyin Ve Baabul Os Ghare

In this cheerful song a girl details the kind of home and family that she would like to marry into. A doting mother in law, celebrations all the time, and abundance – of milk, clothes and jewelry. She cleverly tells her father that it is he who will earn admiration and renown if he finds her such a match!

Give me, dear father, into a home where,

Mother-in-law is a benign ruler, father-in-law the chief.

Where she pulls up a stool to sit beside me,

A frown never creasing her forehead.

This noble act

Will bring you great renown!

Give me, dear father, into a home where

Mother-in-law has many young sons.

One getting engaged, another getting married,

I see marriages all the time.

This noble act

Will bring you great renown!

Give me, dear father, into a home where

There are sixty brown cows.

Now milking, now churning,

My hands in the earthen jars!

This noble act

Will bring you great renown!

Give me, dear father, into a home where,

A tailor sews the clothes.

I wear one suit, another one hanging,

My hands rummaging in trunks. (*steamer trunks.)

This noble act

Will bring you great renown!

Give me, dear father, into a home where

The goldsmith carves ornaments.

I wear one set, another in the box,

My hands busy in cases!

This noble act

Will bring you great renown!

Baabul Ik Mera Kehna Keejiye

This girl wants a husband just like Krishna, but is a little concerned because she is fair of color and Krishna was said to be dark! He father assures her that her groom is as beautiful as the kewra flower – a pale yellow, deeply fragrant flower.

Father fulfill this one desire of mine.

Give me a husband like Krishna.

Daughter I have found a husband for you,

The color of roses is upon him.

Father, I have one big regret,

I am fair and he so dark!

Child, a jewel like Krishna wears the sehra ,

And looks like the kewra abloom in a garden.

Maaye Ni Mera Ajj Muklaava Tor De

Girls were married at a fairly young age in the old days. This event would be better described as ‘a contract to be married’ rather than a marriage, as the young girl did not accompany her new husband to his home. Some time after she reached puberty she was sent to her married home and this event is called the muklaava. The actual married life of the couple began after the muklaava and not after the wedding.

The situation in this song is of a mother reluctant to part with her daughter and a daughter eager to start her married life. Just send me there, she pleads.

Mother, send away my muklaava today!

If you cannot make the trousseau,

Send me there with a single garment.

If you cannot get the ivory choodda,

Send me there with a glass bangle.

If you cannot get a bed,

Send me there with a stool.

If you cannot get the cooking vessels,

Send me there with a small brass pot.

Mother, if you cannot find my husband,

Send me away with Raanjha.

Kadd Ni Ammaddi Kuj Sajjeya Sajaaya

This lovely song catches that transient time between a known past and a dreamed of future. It shimmers with anticipation.

The bride was carried to her new home in a palanquin (doli) and the water carriers were the traditional carriers of the doli. The multi colored woven cords tied the short drapes of the doli together so that the bride could ride in privacy.

Mother, bring out something new, something decorated.

Something that you preserved for me.

Something that my father worked for,

Something earned by my brother.

Your time to give has arrived!

Water carrier, tie the woven cords,

The cords of my doli.

Morsels of betel leaf in my mouth,

I leave the lanes of my parents home.

Water carrier, untie the woven cords,

The cords on my doli.

For I must claim the lanes of my married home.

VIDAAI

Madhaaniyaan

The objects and the chores that were a part of a woman’s daily routine feature prominently in these folk songs. Fresh butter was churned daily, lentils were cooked, clothes were sewn or repaired. The simplicity of folk songs and the depth of emotion they are able to convey through that simplicity can be heard in this very moving song. With a few spare words it presents us with observations about relationships and emotions that are universally true.

This is a form of song where the first word or line is only a rhyming device. The essential meaning lies in the latter part of the verse.

Churning staff.

O immovable gods.

One gives us birth, another takes us away.

Lentils.

Father, in your palace

Sings the seven colored dove.

Lentils.

Father, in your palace

Cool breezes blow.

Threads.

These true brothers

Lead my palanquin out.

Threads.

These wives of my brothers

Drink raw milk as soon as I leave.

Petals.

Mother and daughter embraced,

And the four walls of the courtyard shuddered.

Kaccha dudh: raw milk. Ordinarily milk was boiled before it was used. Raw milk was drunk absolutely fresh and unboiled and was said to be quite delicious. It was considered a special and occasional treat.

Ajj Di Dihaaddi Doli Rakh Le Ma

This is the moment of leave taking. All the people with whom she has spent her childhood and youth will be left behind today. With a few simple words the sadness of this moment is very effectively evoked.

Just for this day, mother, keep my doli,

Let me remain my fathers bundle of mischief.

Look at my doli to your hearts content,

As I leave for a unknown land.

My doli is decorated with fans,

Today, my friends bid me goodbye.

My doli is studded with diamonds,

Today, my brothers bid me goodbye.

My doli is draped with a silk sheet,

Today, my paternal uncles bid me goodbye.

My doli is covered with figured muslin,

Today, my maternal uncle bids me goodbye.

My doli is stamped with designs,

Today, my mother and father bid me goodbye.

My doli is decorated with stars

Today, everyone bids me goodbye.

Saadde Saruaan De Tthandde Tthandde Saaye

In this bittersweet song the girl accepts that she is soon to be separated from her brothers - her own as well her maternal cousin brothers. She expresses her love for them, interspersing this with vignettes about the nature of her relationship with her brother as well as his wife.

Our cypress trees cast cool shadows.

I wish you a long life, sons of my mother.

Beloved brothers,

Stay happy.

Though far from my eyes

Stay close to my heart.

When I asked my brother for a dupatta

A frown appeared on bhaabi’s face.

I have no power over my bhaabi

Yet have no one other than her.

Our cypress trees cast cool shadows

I wish you a long life, sons of my maasi.

Beloved brothers,

Stay happy.

Though far from my eyes

Stay close to my heart.

Wipe the tears from your eyes, my brother.

Today the kunj will be plucked out from its branch.

When I am far away and think of you,

My heart will be heavy.

Our cypress trees cast cool shadows

I wish you a long life, sons of my maami

Beloved brothers

Stay happy.

Though far from my eyes

Stay close to my heart.

Kunj: a migratory bird, gray, resembling a crane.

Mere Baagaan Di Koyal Kahaan Challi Eh

This is an extraordinary and somber song that sings of duty: a fathers duty to his daughter and a daughters duty to the vows of marriage.

Nightingale of my gardens, where are you going?

My dutiful father celebrated my marriage.

Bound by these vows, I am leaving.

Nightingale of my gardens, where are you going?

My dutiful brother celebrated my marriage.

Bound by these vows, I am leaving.

Ni Maen Sau Sau Rukh Payi Laavaan

Beyond the natural love and devotion that exists between siblings, a brother represented the continuity of her parents home to a girl. It was he who would inherit the land of their father and continue to farm it. He was the future head of the family that she grew up in.

A loving relationship with him meant that she would always have a welcome there.

I plant a hundred saplings,

They will grow green and full.

Mothers are a cool shade,

Who will shelter me now?

My brother planted a garden,

A garden of flowers.

I ask each traveler passing by

For news of my brother.

Who will shelter me now?

My brother gave me a spinning wheel

Studded with golden nails.

I think of you, dear brother,

Each time I glance at it.

Who will shelter me now?

My brother planted a garden,

Planted one garden.

May his home always flourish.

I am leaving this country.

Who will shelter me now?

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